Rough day today... really rough. Leslie and LouAnn were kind enough to sit through my pitty party.
First, I started my period so the hormonal component certainly didn't help any.
Then I foolishly took my pain meds on an empty stomach which made me nauseous.
Then, in my infinite wisdom I decided to drink a cup of caffeinated coffee to stimulate the bowels. It didn't do the trick but did make me dizzy and upset my guts more.
Third, we unwrapped my bandages so I could shower. Wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't standing in front of the mirror. Man... that was bad... really, really bad. I look like a Who from Who-ville. Concave chest with a belly sticking out. I was not ready for that. I've seen pictures. Knew what to expect. It's just a whole lot more stark when it's your body. Well, I lost it at that point. Thankfully, Leslie was with me and we started making prosthetic boob jokes. By the time we were done we were both in tears from laughing so hard.
Then one of the bandage water barrier's failed and we had to re-bandage. I didn't look but just imagining it all was too much.
Paula and Maggie's comment was most timely. I kept looking at my flower arrangements. Beauty in the face of a bleak day.
BAD DAY! Tomorrow will be better.
4 comments:
Hang in there :),
The first few times of seeing the reality of your body can be overwhelming! But I promise, it does get better!! You have done this for your son and your future. The thought of my children kept me trudging with my head up. Determined that I got rid of the cancer, and it Will NOT get rid of me. You will get to feeling better, but DO NOT overdue. Your body needs rest. I am not one to lay around as I am sure you are not either. But take some time for your body and mind to recoup.
Better days are ahead -- and you will look back on this as a triumph. You were strong and made it out the other end :).
From one absent boob female to another, understanding the emotions that come and go with the effect of this season in life.
Sending you hugs. And wags from Shaftoe and Glory!
I am so sorry you had such a crappy day. I was afraid when you sounded so upbeat the day before, it was pain pills talking or you hadn't had a chance to really think about what had happened.
I am glad you and Leslie were able to "bust" up laughing about prosthetic boobs. Maybe there is a market for them in the animal world as well. You could make a fortune. It wouldn't be just one pair, it would be several.
Take care my friend. Sleep as much as you can, it will make the time go by faster.
Thinking of you.
Know that all of us at FVH are thinking about you- and there was a particularly appropriate and touching comment on our Facebook page today for you:
Jardin Fille- Dr. Wikander, you're in our prayers for successful treatment that results in complete cancer-free recovery. Please lean on others, be good to yourself and let your loved ones love on you! You do not walk alone.
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